The circumstances:
In a nutshell, I'm a queer, twenty-something, white female. I have a contemporary, research-based art practice, and I also do body painting (with mixed degrees of enjoyment and criticality).
In a nutshell, I'm a queer, twenty-something, white female. I have a contemporary, research-based art practice, and I also do body painting (with mixed degrees of enjoyment and criticality).
Of late, I have been working with an interdisciplinary group of academics (mainly feminist, and based in Critical Psychology) who are studying the effects of mainstream heteroporn on gender politics. They're not essentially anti-porn, but they're also not interested (at this point) in porn in potentia - the focus is on mainstream hetero porn made predominantly for and by men.
Part of this study involves putting together an art exhibition, and also setting up some art/activist activities in the public arena, and that's where I fit in. I'm one of the exhibiting artists, but I've been involved in the project (at varying levels of engagement) since it's conception, and for the past few months have been heavily committed to it through a summer research scholarship. I'm writing a paper which seeks to contextualise utilising art in the manner which we are, examining the intersections of art with porn, feminism, activism and sex. Needless to say this is an incredibly complex collision point (thus the title - it's rather convoluted!).
The Journey:
When I took on this project, I had no idea just how much this would impact my life.
My art practice up until this point has been at arms length. Political, environmentally conscious, engaging in debates, but never putting myself directly under the microscope or in the firing line. I have always identified as feminist, but I never really engaged with what that meant on any deeper level than a generalised belief that everyone is entitled to equality. I never really considered what my white skin entitled me to, or not, as a woman. Or what my education opportunities, or socio-economic class contributed to my outlook. I never really considered how being queer/female and white/middle class was complicated -- a collision of marginalised/oppressed and dominant/mainstream --, or how well I was socially conditioned, even in my state of artist/activist, to not question many heteronormative structures which reinforced capitalist patriarchy. I'm now unable to ignore these things and am going through the process of examining the structures that I'm encultured by, and engaging with intersectional (and) feminist discourse actively, and perhaps naively at this point. I considered setting up an alternate account for this - something more anonymous, but I don't think that's an option for me anymore either.
My art practice up until this point has been at arms length. Political, environmentally conscious, engaging in debates, but never putting myself directly under the microscope or in the firing line. I have always identified as feminist, but I never really engaged with what that meant on any deeper level than a generalised belief that everyone is entitled to equality. I never really considered what my white skin entitled me to, or not, as a woman. Or what my education opportunities, or socio-economic class contributed to my outlook. I never really considered how being queer/female and white/middle class was complicated -- a collision of marginalised/oppressed and dominant/mainstream --, or how well I was socially conditioned, even in my state of artist/activist, to not question many heteronormative structures which reinforced capitalist patriarchy. I'm now unable to ignore these things and am going through the process of examining the structures that I'm encultured by, and engaging with intersectional (and) feminist discourse actively, and perhaps naively at this point. I considered setting up an alternate account for this - something more anonymous, but I don't think that's an option for me anymore either.
I have been loving and loathing this project in equal proportions.
Loathing it because I feel inadequate to represent all of the things I feel so passionately need representing. Because, although I thought I had a fairly good grip on feminism, activist art and many other things that were important to me, I had arrogantly been living in a bubble without really engaging with the discourse in depth. Because there are days when I read about feminist artwork created in the 1960s and realise that you could exhibit it today and it would still hold the same potency and relevance because the same issues are still at stake! Because it is no longer possible to switch off when there are public new stories surrounding rape or sexism or women's rights. Because some of the realities I've been exposed to can never be unseen/unheard/forgotten.
But I love it - for the same reasons! Because it has forced me to engage with the basis of my beliefs, and be reflexive and critical, conscious on a daily level. Because even though there is a long way to go still, the wealth and depth of literature, artistic contributions, inspiring virtual content, networks and individuals engaging in this is HUGE. And I remain optimistic that we are building up to a new 'wave' of feminism, and that the great seawalls of patriarchy cannot withstand forever.
Thus, I'm adding another voice to the mass.
It's a new journey -so please bear with me - I write to help myself understand as well as to contribute to the discourse.
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