Taking back feminism!

I was note taking in a class this afternoon – 300 level contemporary drama paper – where they were studying Caryl Churchill’s socialist feminist works. As part of the discussion, the lecturer asked how many in the room considered themselves feminists. In a room of sixty students, with a 2:1 ratio female to male, two students, including myself put up their hands.

Two. Out of SIXTY.

“Why?” asked the lecturer, somewhat bemused. Because feminists are angry, too radical, responses came thick and fast defending their ‘non-feminist’ status… we agree with some of the changes that they’ve wrought but we don’t like THEM as people… we don’t want to be associated with that stereotype was the sentiment.

As a hairy lesbian feminist (haha - headdesk) I wanted to get angry. I wanted to shout at these  young women. To say WAKE UP you’ve been suckered into participating in your own oppression AGAIN. HELLO?! Anyone home!?

BUT. Now here’s the thing. Anger isn’t working.

 Over the weekend I went to the Charlotte Museum with my partner for an art exhibition opening. The Charlotte Museum is a Lesbian Museum which documents Lesbian history in Aotearoa New Zealand, and as such contains many treasures, biographies of influential or notable dykes and relics of protests-past. Inspiring, affirming, amusing, intimidating. I’m guessing it’s fairly easy to pick which word shouldn’t be on that list. Even as an out an proud, bleeding lefty lesbian, who believes in gender as a construct and is organising an intersectional feminist artist network as we speak, I found some of the slogans intimidating. Even though I could easily have written them. Some of the artwork was graphic, and amusing as an in joke, but could easily be perceived as aggressive and frightening. Aggression, anger and belittling those who don’t fit within our groups – these are not devices which are helping the cause.

The other day, when I was getting extremely frustrated in a discussion with friends, who are relatively open minded, but from my point of view, still very much entrenched in hetero-normative capitalist structure, my lover gently reminded me that mine is not the only truth. If you attack someone’s belief system all guns blazing, their defense shields go up and counter strikes begin, perhaps before they've even considered what you're saying. 

And perhaps so it has been with feminism -  to the point where the really important thing most feminists agree on – that everyone should be equal regardless of gender/sex (I like to add sexuality, ethnicity and class to that but that’s another rant convoluted by my whitey-mc-whiteness)- get lost in the stereotypes of angry-ugly-man-hating-hairy-militant-lesbian-communes.

Our challenge is making people uncomfortable enough with de rigueur that they seek alternative information and change, whilst not making them so uncomfortable that they reject your ideas entirely and  it’s a really fine line.

But another challenge also exists; we need to take back the word feminism – we need to associate it with positive change, with beautiful women of all descriptions, with love, with open-mindedness and perhaps even sex appeal. Because, from what I’m learning doing this study on hetero-porn – sex appeal is one of the driving forces of contemporary culture – we’ve been en-cultured to value it above all other things. Which is why the angry-ugly-hairy-lesbian-feminist stereotype works so well to dissuade women from the feminist cause – all of those things are what you are NOT supposed to be in your performance as ‘sexy woman’. 

We need to come out as feminists. All of us who identify as such – all of us who believe in equality for everyone – to eradicate this stereotype and continue creating steps toward equality. And although it’s ok to be angry, frustrated, enraged, embittered – and these things can fuel your fire – present them as passion with compassion, creativity, empathy, consideration.  That’s what I’m endeavoring to do.